Advertisement
Peer pressure during the teenage years is at the top of the list of factors pushing youngsters into experimenting with drugs, according to Dr. D. Vincent Biase, former director of research and development at Daytop Village, a leading drug treatment center. But it shouldn’t be blamed for drug abuse, which is usually the result of internal unhappiness in addition to the drive toward social acceptability.
Continue Reading »
Advertisement
Advertisement
Some drugs leave an open trail. Cigarette smoke settles in hair, in clothes, and on fingertips, where a parent can smell the evidence. Inhalants often have a peculiar odor, and the containers from which they came are easy to identify. But other drug use is harder to detect.
Parents are understandably reluctant to invade a child’s private space to search for evidence, fearing they will do serious damage to their relationship. But one worried mother steeled herself to read the diary her daughter had left out on her bed. She was shocked by the sexual adventures,
Continue Reading »
Advertisement
Advertisement
Parents try to understand today’s world through the world they experienced growing up. It won’t work. The transition from simple disciplinary problems to major police and health problem is the result not only of the passage of time but of major social upheavals.
For one thing, divorce has become a way of life, placing extra burdens on single mothers. For another, mothers, divorced or not, are out of the house and in the workplace in great numbers alongside fathers.
Continue Reading »
Advertisement
But this is my house, and the bottom line is I won’t have it around.” You can use the same approach when it comes to other drugs. You have to be prepared for tension and even an angry “Well, then, I won’t visit anymore.”
Continue Reading »
If such use is unacceptable to you, then you must say so unequivocally. You can point out that it is illegal, adding, “We enjoy your visits, but not your smoking.” A woman who had smoked pot herself in the sixties put is this way to her daughter: “I can’t control what you do.
Continue Reading »
Since schools are where the kids are—or should be—most of the time, they are often the setting for the discovery of the drug problem or for conflicts because of it. Parents sometimes saddle them with both the blame and the responsibility. Yet, as an administrator points out, although “the parents think the schools should crack down on drugs and the schools and cops think it is the parents’ job, the truth is, none of us can do it alone.” Essentially, the schools are responsible for what happens in school and on their grounds and the police are called in only as a last resort or if a crime has been committed. Once in a while, they go into the schools as undercover agents to expose extensive drug dealing, but in general, they stay away. Parents, on the other hand, are intimately involved with the school’s impact on their children’s lives.
Continue Reading »
Many parents ask, “What should I do if my son lights up a joint while he’s visiting us?” First of all, be clear about your convictions before an incident occurs. If you’d rather your child didn’t hide the fact that he or she is using pot, make this plain.
Continue Reading »
He’ll get the message when you let him know that it’s no fun for you or anyone else to have him around when he really isn’t functioning. Be prepared for an angry response, but try not to give in. Your child must learn to suffer the full consequences of his behavior.
Continue Reading »
Some parents prepare to deal with their own children by recalling how they were treated by their parents and what their feelings were on the subject of drugs and drinking. First you can consider how they spoke to you, what they expected of you, how much they trusted you, and the degree to which you were consulted when it came to family decision-making. You may also be able to remember how you felt about your parents when they were setting limits or treating you in ways that you felt were unfair and frightening.
Continue Reading »
If your drug-using child comes to visit, he should be asked to leave if he’s high or drunk when he arrives. If he protests, tell him you’d like to spend time with him, but only when he is sober or more in control of himself.
Continue Reading »
A “Reaching Out Room” in which these students can eat lunch and build new friendships with other recovering kids is also part of the program. This room is staffed all day, so there is always someone to talk to when the going gets rough.
Continue Reading »
Parents see their children as report cards on their parenting ability. When a child runs into trouble, parents torment themselves: “What did I do wrong? Was there some point when I could have done this instead of that and kept the whole mess from happening?” The truth is, children develop in a particular way because of a multitude of factors, including inborn temperament, the circumstances in which they grew up, the social climate and times in which they live, their families, and more.
Continue Reading »
Deerfield High School in Illinois assigns each returning youngster to a student who has been back in school for a while and can act as a guide.
Continue Reading »
You can try to hook him up with a counselor or psychologist in school or a student assistance program. Some high schools have special classes or sections for students who have been rehabilitated to provide a buffer between them and those who are still using.
Continue Reading »
On the other hand, there will be new friends who will respect him for having turned around and will not try to underline his commitment.
Continue Reading »
Crisis intervention centers are often community-based storefront facilities staffed mainly by nonprofessionals who have themselves been drug abusers. They are not likely to fall for the youngster who says, “I experimented just that one time,” or “I was keeping the stuff for a friend.” The centers provide emergency help, short-term treatment, and evaluation and referral. Says George Doering, Jr., director of the Ramapo Counseling Center in Spring Valley, New York, “Sometimes it’s just a question of giving a kid the opportunity to grow up with some support. For a lot of kids, four to six moths of treatment are fine.” These centers can also be used as a transition into more intensive care of for aftercare once a child has returned from inpatient treatment.
Continue Reading »
The child has learned to say no, but the temptation will be there, and a lot of it may come from students who will try to lure him back into the drug scene or make fun of him for having been caught or for going “straight.”
Continue Reading »
One youngster said, “It’s not as hard to go home as it is to go back to school.” He’s right, because in school, your child will once again be with the kids with whom he did drugs.
Continue Reading »
Just as colleges are different, each community has its unique characteristics. National publications may alert you to the dangers of designer drugs or homemade PCP (angel dust), and those substances may or may not be of major concern in your area. Usually a drug fad will start on one coast or the other, and then filter to the middle of the country. But there may be local favorites, based on availability, price, and how vigorously they are being pushed.
Continue Reading »
But what seems like rebellion may really be a child’s way of saying, “I don’t know who I am, but this I do know—I am not you. I’m different.” The child rejects parental attitudes and expectations on the road to developing his own ideas and personality.
Continue Reading »