Browsing the blog archives for February, 2010
Despite differing orientations and theoretical backgrounds, most treatment programs have similar goals:
? To help your child live a drug-free life. The general attitude, says Dr. David Smith of the Haight-Ashbury Free Clinic, is that “once a person has crossed the boundary into uncontrollable use, she/he may never return to controlled use. It’s as if [...]
Separating is part of parenting, and the time must come, early for some, later for others, to loosen the grip so the chills can grow up. At a certain point, you are no longer responsible for your child’s life, debts, or the consequences of his or her behavior.
Family rules and obligations are sometimes easier to enforce and abide by if you create a family contract. Your children must accept the fact that as long as they live at home, you are responsible for them. Maybe you will feel that a written document is too alien to the way you usually handle things. [...]
It is a lot easier to follow suggestions such as these if you stand together with other parents. A mother from Delaware say, “I believe strongly in parents getting together for education and support. It’s the only way I have survived parenthood—that and Erma Bombeck.”
Basically, adolescent drug abusers are treated in three different types of settings: drug-free outpatient; short-terms impatient; and therapeutic community. (For the small proportion of opiate abusers, there is also methadone maintenance—the use of a drug to block the craving for heroin, provided in an outpatient clinic. Some critics see this treatment as substituting one drug [...]
Most parents have not practiced talking to their children about touchy subjects, and the use of alcohol, tobacco, and drugs is among the touchiest. It’s easy to talk about the weather. It’s easy to talk about the home team. It’s even easy to talk about taking turns or caring for pets. But when parents and [...]
How will you feel when you have seen a counselor, spent thousands of dollars and hundreds of sleepless nights, had countless arguments with your husband or wife and friends, had several encounters with law enforcement agencies, and carefully selected what you thought was best—and nothing has worked? Your kid is worse than ever .He is [...]
As a child’s love affair with drugs progresses, the parents’ relationship goes through different stages too, from disbelief, to worry, to a recognition of the reality and feelings of anger, terror, and helplessness. By the time a child has been seduced by alcohol or drug use, parents may be constantly at odds. One denies the [...]
Conversations with your children have to be appropriate to the child’s age and ability to comprehend. Toddlers can be encouraged to tell you what happened at day care or a fourth-grader can discuss what he liked best in his school lunch. Later, attitudes about drinking, smoking, and taking drugs can be passed on by comments [...]
No parent likes to acknowledge that his child might be a drug user. It seems to be an admission of failure as a parent and is a frightening recognition that something must be done. To avoid this painful possibility, parents cover up, avoid seeing what is obvious to others, or deny the extent of the [...]
Youngsters seem to select a particular drub because it does what they need it to do. If they are frequent users, they often have a favorite and resist switching. Some adolescents also avoid certain drugs. On a larger scale, one counselor points out that “drugs fit the times. Marijuana was a sixties drug because it [...]
In many ways, though, a youngster sees the world of drug and alcohol use from a perspective that is quite different from that of adults.
What Kids Say: What Parents Say:
Everybody’s doing it. Not my kid.
I’m not hurting anyone. This is risky behavior.
I won’t snitch on friends. I expect you to tell me the truth about what is going [...]
Once their children have recovered, parents report:
“I don’t feel I have to worry about him anymore.”
“It’s great to have my own child back again.”
“She’s better than she’s ever been.”
“It was like a death and now he has a second chance.”
“As much as my son changed, I’ve changed more.”
These parents were all optimistic, yet the scorecard [...]